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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082992">Send in the Clowns</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikeWritesThings/pseuds/MikeWritesThings'>MikeWritesThings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>31 Days of Apex [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Apex Legends (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Found Family, Gen, Humor, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Team as Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:08:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,403</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikeWritesThings/pseuds/MikeWritesThings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bangalore looks at them—Octane's teasing and Mirage's stuttering—and she sees her family.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bangalore | Anita Williams &amp; Mirage | Elliott Witt, Bangalore | Anita Williams &amp; Octane | Octavio Silva, Mirage | Elliott Witt &amp; Octane | Octavio Silva</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>31 Days of Apex [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Send in the Clowns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>day 5--family</p><p>title taken from the loading screen in which bangalore admits she likes both mirage and octane</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spending time with the other Legends was not something Anita often did willingly. She was an introvert, and many of the others often described her as 'bossy' and didn't like hanging around her, which was fine. But she did occasionally leave her room to chill with everyone else, because she needed to be reminded every now and then that she was on a dropship with real, living people, and not just the ghosts in her head.</p><p>Currently sitting on a couch next to Octane, who was kicking his legs around and rambling about some sort of video game, she leafed through the weapons magazine she'd snagged from a late-night convenience store run the other night, a mission to get some cheap beer and a few snacks. There was nothing too fancy about the magazine, and she was getting thirsty, so she stood up from the couch and tossed the thing aside.</p><p>Anita stretched her arms above her head, feeling her back audibly pop and crack as she did so. She winced, and thought about what one of her brothers would say—that she was getting old. Isaiah would probably be the one to say it, being the little shit he was, the spoiled youngest brother of the Williams family—and she would probably clock him on the back of his head for that comment had she been home.</p><p>But she wasn’t. She was on the dropship, waiting for another day, another fight, to begin, and her family was far, far away.</p><p>
  <em> (Or dead.) </em>
</p><p>
  <em> (No, they're alive. They have to be.) </em>
</p><p>“Man, sounds like you’re getting old,” Octavio said from beside her, and she scowled at him, though she was glad for the brief distraction from her own thoughts. He looked up from his phone, and mirrored her expression. “What?”</p><p>She popped him then, a brief smack from the back of her hand against his mouth and chin, and he recoiled with a sputter and then a laugh.</p><p>“Okay, sorry for being honest, amiga. That shit just sounded like it hurt.”</p><p>“We talking about Bangalore’s back breaking every time she stands up?” A new voice cut in, and she scowled once again as Elliott leaned over the couch, smiling in that dumbass way of his. He had three older brothers, and was used to making fun of his siblings, so he usually jumped at any opportunity to make fun of her.</p><p>She liked returning the favor.</p><p>“At least I’m not getting gray hairs, Witt,” she mocked, thinking back to the panicked sputtering she had heard from the men’s room weeks ago—<em>I’m thirty oh my god I’m not old yet what's happening</em>—and his face flushed at her words.</p><p>“I d-don’t know what you’re talking about,” he stammered, and Octavio laughed, sitting up properly so he could twist in his seat on the couch and face the other man.</p><p>“You have <em> gray hair</em>?!”</p><p>“I don’t!” Elliott shouted, before quieting his voice, self-conscious and eyes darting around. “She’s making it up. She’s lying.”</p><p>“I bet you dye your hair,” Octavio teased.</p><p>“I do <em> not!</em>”</p><p>“Sounds like what someone who dyes their hair would say.”</p><p>Elliott crossed his arms then, petulant, and Anita was suddenly brought back to family dinners, and the back-and-forth accusations and lies and half-truths, exaggerated to embarrass the subject to the fullest extent. A ruthless exchange—being the only sister and middle child certainly hadn’t helped. These two clowns exemplified that same energy perfectly.</p><p>Anita left the room to grab a bottle of water, and when she returned they were still going at it. Octavio was an only child, so she wasn’t sure where he had built up his repertoire of remarks, but his relationship with Lifeline seemed brother-sister like, and those two couldn’t stop taking the piss out of one another, so that was probably where he got it.</p><p>Elliott was usually a 50/50 shot. Sometimes he was able to keep up, and other days, he wasn't. It's what made him so fun.</p><p>“At least—at least I still have my legs,” Elliott was saying weakly, definitely a day where he wasn't able to match pace with the others.</p><p>“Your legs are boring,” Octavio replied without missing a beat. “Can your legs do <em> this?</em>”</p><p>He proceeded to pull one right off, and Elliott rolled his eyes at that, as did Anita.</p><p>(<em>“Must suck that you can’t eat popcorn,” Zeke told Isaiah, who kept running his tongue over his braces. </em></p><p>
  <em> “Must suck that you can’t get a girlfriend,” Isaiah said back without much pause. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Wh—that was uncalled for!” </em>
</p><p><em> “Your face is uncalled for,” Isaiah said, Anita and Jackson howling with laughter across from them, and Zeke responded by flicking an unpopped kernel at him.</em>)</p><p>“I think having my legs attached to my body is a good thing, actually.”</p><p>“You would, wouldn’t you? You’re boring like that.”</p><p>Elliott did some more sputtering, which was becoming a common sound on the dropship, and Anita laughed at his expense. His face was getting more and more red, causing the scars over his eye and nose to stick out like a sore thumb. She almost felt bad for him, and because she often played mediator when her brothers were fighting (despite starting a fair few herself), she chided,</p><p>“Ah, leave him alone, ‘Zaia.”</p><p>It took her about five seconds to realize what she had just said. Octavio’s head had swivelled towards her, eyebrows raised, and Elliott jumped at this chance to take the attention off of himself by asking, “Who’s ‘Zaia’?”</p><p>Anita was cool under pressure—it was one of her defining traits, what often got her high marks back at the IMC Military Academy; <em> Level-headed. Cool under pressure. Follows orders to a T. </em>Yet she felt her face heat up, but thanks to her dark complexion, the boys couldn’t tell. She cleared her throat, and said, “Slip of the tongue. Don’t worry about it.”</p><p>They both kept staring at her, Octavio still with wide eyes and raised brows, but Elliott’s face was starting to scrunch up into a look she didn’t like—one of realization. They’d touched upon the subject of brothers before, sibling to sibling. He knew about her family, and despite the way he acted, he wasn’t a complete dumbass.</p><p>Before he could come to any conclusions, she excused herself, and left the room. Ran a hand through her hair with a sigh, trying not to think about the last time she’d seen her family—Monty, his wife, and their two kids, both military hopefuls. Zeke on his second deployment, and Isaiah about to graduate, top of his class at the academy. Zeke’s girlfriend used to write her letters while she was at her Gridiron post, not too far to not have them delivered, but not very close either.</p><p>And Jackson...</p><p>(<em>Jackie’s alright. </em></p><p><em> He’s alright</em>.)</p><p>Mom and dad were getting pretty old. Nana had passed away not that long before she’d gotten that mission with Jackie to retrieve the Mercenary Fleet. She wondered how they were handling it.</p><p>Anita allowed herself to think about it for a minute. Just one minute of pure, unadulterated <em> feeling. </em> Regret and sadness and longing, on her lonesome in the big ‘ole solar system, and then she swallowed it down, like it had never happened, and lifted her head again. <em> Cool under pressure. </em></p><p>It was harder to not think about them these days. Octavio acted like a spoiled little brat, and sure, Isaiah had never been spoiled (coddled, maybe, but they <em> were </em> a military family, and he eventually got the same treatment as everyone else) but he certainly had the attitude of one. Elliott acted like Zeke—Isaiah’s own personal punching bag, and it didn’t help that he too wasn’t the best at comebacks, but they were both smart where it mattered. Books and gadgets, that’s where they shined.</p><p>Her heart gave a pang in her chest, and she felt her eyes burn.</p><p><em> Stop thinking about it, </em> she told herself, in her own special <em> Sergeant Williams </em> voice. Harsh, commanding, with a ‘get the job’ done sort of attitude. <em> Keep it cool. </em></p><p>This was why she hated being around these two clowns in particular. Hated the way they made her feel, hated the memories they brought up, hated that they made her feel <em> soft. </em>She wasn't supposed to be soft. She was supposed to be hard, streamlined and rock-solid. The perfect soldier.</p><p>One who missed her family.</p>
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